So You Had An Affair! How To Admit To It To Your Partner And Live To Tell The Tale

Firstly you need to be honest with yourself and work out what you really want. If for example you don’t love your partner and would prefer to end the relationship then be brave and tell them. It may be easier on both of you to tell them what they may prefer to hear but it won’t do either of you any good in the long run if it’s not what you want.

Admitting your affair to your partner is a horrible position to be in and what you’re about to say is going to instigate a very difficult period. It may even change the course of your life. But be realistic, nothing you can do or say, however much you change the facts or twist the tale, is going to change the fact that you cheated.

And also be aware that at some point, if not immediately, your partner is going to start asking you some pretty deep and awkward questions about your affair. If you try to twist the facts or hold them back the chances are they’re going to come out at some point so it’s best if that time is now.

Be aware that your partner is likely to act very irrationally once you tell them. How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot? So respect their feelings by keeping in control of yourself all the time and be aware of what you say, what you do, and how you act. Accept that you were in the wrong and be prepared to take responsibility for your actions.

What you’ll also have to accept is that once you admit to your affair your partner will probably take on a completely different character for a while. They will probably be cold, distant, angry and hateful towards you.

And you owe it to them to give them time, space and understanding.

But remember, it really is possible for a relationship or marriage to survive an affair, as long as you know how.